Screwed.edu
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
