so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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