just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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