Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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