i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
