I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Randomize
