my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
