You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
