So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
did you just send me my own nude
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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