she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You ruined the universe
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
