Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
