I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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