maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
