She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
