I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
