turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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