you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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