I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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