The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
