I love black thongs
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
