There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
