There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
