I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
