My hair reeks of homosexuality.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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