Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
