I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
