Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize