She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
