the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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