just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
