This girl is more easily done than said...
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
