What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
