Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
