It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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