just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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