overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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