5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
