How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
