Screwed.edu
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
When are your genitals available?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
