Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
