Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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