I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You're like the curious george of whores
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
