BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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