I could have mohawked her pubes.
My balls are so social today.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
