i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
