there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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