Swine flu. Run for my life!
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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