tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
