I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
