Swine flu. Run for my life!
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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