Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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