remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
