if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
