Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
