Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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