...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
