I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
