It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
