You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just invented taco cereal.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
